In the past I have been known to keep a journal. Usually a collection of grumblings and musings and its always been a way for me to express myself (whether it was interesting for anyone else to read is another matter).
Yesterday I was going through my bookshelf looking for something decent to read, when one of these journals fell out and I decided to flip through it and read (and laugh at my silliness). One entry that I made back in June 2008 particularly struck me though and I thought it was interesting in a strange kind of way (apart from the silly stuff):
Tuesday 3rd June, 2008
Well the toe was never broken*, but in my defense it was badly bruised and I limped for 1/2 a day. Madeline thought it was a chance to have a day off school! Nice try. As for my hand I went to see Dr Jenny and she said I had a cyst. She has referred me to NSH to see the hand surgeon. Wonder how long that will take with their waiting list...I will probably be 40 by then. So I put funeral arrangements on hold. Haha.
In all seriousness though the topic we covered in Crosstalk today really left some food for thought. The topic was Faith Facing Death & Suffering. It left everyone thinking a little more about the process of dying, kinda depressing when you think too hard about it but the more I think about death, particularly my own I'm not afraid. Its just inevitable and I know where I am going I have faith in that for sure. More, the fear is in the unknown. How? What will happen to my family? Will my kids cope without me? That sort of thing.
It also brought to mind how I used to think when I was younger in regards to suffering. I always equated the words suffering to something drastic like torture. So when Paul tells us in the Bible that suffering is part of our faith I was terrified he meant that. As I get older I realise suffering has many different forms, and as we experience suffering we grow in character.
Looking back it is not as scary as I had imagined it to be.
* My previous days post had been mostly self absorbed as I almost broke a toe running to rescue Johnny from one of the daily death defying feats he likes to enact.