26 May 2010

How am I feeling? Part 2

Its so hard to write how I'm feeling when its all a bit of a mess really.

Owen was so close to his grandma, and it breaks my heart that she's gone from his life. Although she was sick and her body was failing her so much he really relied on her support. She loved him getting involved and heading up to her house on the point every week to mow her lawns and do odd jobs and, well basically she let him turn her garden into his new golf green and she loved it! So I imagine he'll shed a few tears this afternoon when he goes up to mow the lawn.

Its been hard also to focus on her being in hospital. Especially hard as I was unable to visit her and say a proper goodbye as I would have liked. Its all just terrible timing as my blood counts are so low I cannot compromise virtually non existent immune system by heading towards sick people. It sucks. And Owen needed to be here to take care of the kids and me, so he was unable to be as supportive to his mum as he would have liked. Its just one hurdle after another really.

Otherwise apart from being really tired and a bit uncomfortable with a huge pimple INSIDE my nose I feel a bit better today. My blood counts are obviously still down, so I can't go out and party but the good news is I did some baking. A Daring Bakers challenge to be exact, so that will be posted up later today. Was good to get some alone time in the kitchen too.

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