14 May 2010
Lately we've been having a terrible time of it with our middle child. She's always been stubborn and fairly belligerent but she's taken it to a whole new level. She never wants to leave my side, yet when she's home she's horrible to everyone. She's not been laughing and as happy as usual and although fighting with her brother and sister is also normal she's just taken it up a notch. Frankly, it's been exhausting and I've wondered where my sweet little girl has gone.
Then last night she asked me. "When are you going to be dead?"
My sweet girl has spent the last few weeks worrying about when I'm going to die. Wondering if she leaves for school will she come home to mummy? Or if Mummy goes to the hospital will she come home? How could I miss this?????
Oh the guilt. And the sadness she's been feeling like this and none of us have picked it up.
My poor baby.
So we had a chat. I told her that I'm not going to die from this sickness. The cancer has all been taken out, and the medicine I'm having will make sure it won't come back. She's not entirely convinced but she smiled and was happy and trotted off to school for the first time in weeks without a problem. Like a weight had been lifted.
Most likely she's gonna need a few more of those conversations to reassure her.