18 August 2010
Pity party for one...
I don't know if its the weather, or the fact I'm staring down one more chemo treatment to go or what but right now I feel sad.
I have the urge to talk to someone or communicate with someone who has been through this. And I don't know anyone my age who has.
I want to talk to someone who understands what its like trying to wrangle 3 children and keep life as normal as possible, while at the end of the day falling into bed tired and sore and frustrated. I'm aware that I still place a lot of emphasis on making sure the people around me are okay and feeling great, meanwhile its making me exhausted emotionally.
Most days I'm fine. Life goes on and it's as normal as it can get. In fact I crave those normal moments because its a chance to forget I'm/we're going through this. But then there are just these days where I'm filled with doubt, fear, frustration and anger.
So, I feel those things today. And I just want to cry.
Even chocolate isn't cutting it.