18 August 2010

Pity party for one...

I don't know if its the weather, or the fact I'm staring down one more chemo treatment to go or what but right now I feel sad.
I have the urge to talk to someone or communicate with someone who has been through this. And I don't know anyone my age who has.
I want to talk to someone who understands what its like trying to wrangle 3 children and keep life as normal as possible, while at the end of the day falling into bed tired and sore and frustrated. I'm aware that I still place a lot of emphasis on making sure the people around me are okay and feeling great, meanwhile its making me exhausted emotionally.
Most days I'm fine. Life goes on and it's as normal as it can get. In fact I crave those normal moments because its a chance to forget I'm/we're going through this. But then there are just these days where I'm filled with doubt, fear, frustration and anger.

So, I feel those things today. And I just want to cry.

Even chocolate isn't cutting it.


Rebecca said...

hi monica......You can talk to me...I do know what you are going through,it might be weird for you considering it didn't end happily for me,you are a completely different story,every illness is different,soooo maybe it would help to feel sad and scared and fed up and unload with someone that can maybe not talk too much...just understand x

Simoney said...

Hey Mon, I've been thinking about you the last few days, and then i jumped on your blog and saw this post... xx

I was thinking of personally inviting you to come to my tea party today, but somehow the idea slipped my mind... not sure if it would have been your thing anyway, and as you know I haven't been there... but if you are ever sick of your own company and want a change of scene, please consider yourself invited for morning tea. you can email me on greatfun4kids@live.com


Tiffany Williams said...

Hi Monica! I know what you are going through. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 26. I had a lumpectomy and axillary node dissection. The cancer had spread to two of my lymph nodes. Before I started chemo, a PET scan showed some spots in my bones and in my chest wall. My doctor pretty much told me I had less than 2 years to live. But after some MRI scans and another surgery, all those spots proved to be benign. I was also planning my wedding at the time. When my husband and I got married I was halfway through my chemo treatments and I got married wearing a wig. We had also started building our house so I had a lot going on. It was very rough getting through it all. I never thought my life would ever be normal again but I am almost five years cancer free and I had a baby boy two years ago! Feel free to email me at tdc2b@aol.com if you need to talk.

Rhyanne said...

Hi Monica, I was 34 years old when I was diagnosed and had 3 small children. That was four years ago. I've been thru what your going thru now and its certainly not a fun experience, thank goodness for support eh! I would be really happy to talk any time. My email is slyweb@xtra.co.nz Hope your chemo is going well.