There is always hope...

Warning: 
I don't write this because I'm trying to garner sympathy - I'm not. I just want to be real - give you my warts and all experience of my life. If you don't want to read that my life is not all perfect with always happy and clean children and baking coming out of our ears then this isn't the blog for you!


So yesterday I woke up feeling really foggy and super duper tired. Fatigued to the max. I haven't had a day like that for ages and it really hit me for six. I hate being like that.

So I cried.

I threw a pity party for one. 

I  started back down The Well. I thought about all the depressing stuff. I dwelt on the loneliness of being away from my beautiful friends who KNOW me. I worried about all the preparation for surgery. I'm already worrying about the full body CT scan I'll have so they know they can go ahead and operate. They'll be looking for any cancer. That scares me silly. 

I stressed about money and the amount its cost us to make this move. I worried about the truck needing major repairs. I worried that I've caused more stress by having a rather large speeding fine to pay (stupid!). What is happening to me? I've always been a rather calm person, at least I thought  I was!

So this went on for about 1 hour before I pulled myself together.

I ferociously cleaned.

Then to pull my soul together and try put it all out of my mind I put on some music to soothe my soul and began to bake. Like I've said before baking puts my head into a healthy space. I only think about measuring, pouring, creaming, adding one ingredient together and going through a process. It CLEARS my mind.

Yesterday required something a bit decadent.

Chocolate, salted caramel, hazelnut all together needed to happen.

Then I realised, and I still am realising. This is all under control right? There is a plan for us, we didn't move down here on a whim. We did it because it ticked all our boxes and as a bonus its SO beautiful down here. We've already made some connections with people. In time they will get to know us just as well.
I need to stop worrying and focus on the right now. Right now its a beautiful day, right now the house is clean, there is food here, I'm going out for a girls night tonight, my family love me, my parents are coming down tomorrow. And God is always good. And there is always hope. And chocolate.




Out of darkness into light
I know that I will be alright 
Here inside Your hands
I never want to stray too far
Just want to be where You are 
Here inside Your plan
And You're the center of 
The beginning and the end

And I place my life inside Your hands
You hold for me a perfect plan
And You are... 
The beginning and the end

Everything that I've done wrong
Put You there on that cross
Where nails drove in Your hands
A crown of thorns deep in Your brow
I never knew it until now
It was all Your plan
God, You've always been 
The beginning and the end

You have plans for me 
You've given me a hope and a futureYou have plans for me 
You've given me a hope and a future
(I place my life inside your hands 
You hold for me a perfect plan)
And You are... 
The beginning and the end