Green tea and almond cookies

Yes I know. These. AGAIN.


I have really really been wanting to try these with green tea powder since Dean criticised me not using it on NZHHB. A girlfriend of mine bought some back from her trip to Vietnam recently, so here was my chance to use it. This time I've dipped them in chocolate and coconut. YUM!

The flavour was subtle once baked and I love the colour! I can't wait to try out some more recipes.


Coincidentally the 2nd season of filming for the show starts today. Good luck to the contestants!

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cupcakes

Just something I whipped up today...


It's been a while since the KitchenAid got a whirl in the kitchen so I thought I'd fire up the oven today.
Plus I had a hankering for peanut butter buttercream.
Plus I was feeling restless and I have to stay away from crowds as my white blood cells are low.
And its been a while.


Hmm that tasted gooood. Johnny enjoyed the icing. And then placed his cupcake back on the stand for me to photograph. So thoughtful huh?

A whole bunch of people

Thankful number five.

There are so many people who since my diagnosis have rallied and supported us so amazingly, and so practically.
I would like to shout out to the following people for their amazing selflessness and love in helping make our little family life work through this;

Aunty Marje - for just making life that little bit easier around the house. You are so loved in this house.
Pip - for the wee treats!
Narelle and Susan - my school mum heroines. For the school drop offs and the roster organising. And for just being excellent friends.
Ash - for being there at the beginning. I'll never forget that. And thanks to Cinz for letting that happen. ;)
Ange! What can I say? You are mouthwateringly talented and I love laughing with you.
Megs for the fruit and vege drop offs.
Toni - for amazing selflessness, and that Mousse cake that Ash is still swooning over. You are truly a beautiful soul.
Becs - for being ready to do anything. You've always been there.
Nestle - for that incredible hamper (and Claire O for organising it - you sweetie!).
Chris and Leanne - for the hats, flowers and the wee little things I find in the letterbox to brighten and cheer me along. Honestly, its soooo lovely.
Will and Hannah - for keeping the wine and the laughs flowing.
Emma - for being there and being so beautiful. I can't describe how much we love you.

We are so thankful to everyone who have donated a meal or some lovely baking as its all been so gratefully received (and consumed). So thank you to; Dallas, Katie, Jo, Jude, Kim, Maria, Nicole, Tina, Amanda, the Peart family, Clare, Claire (Dobson) and Claire (O'Shannessy), the Popplewell family, Auntie Lizzie, Auntie Sue and anyone else who has helped out. Many apologies if I've missed anyone - I'm doing my best at thinking off the top of my head!

This won't be the last "bunch of people to thank" post, because there are more and the list seems endless and I will be endlessly thankful.

Sunrise

I woke up early this morning and went for a walk on the beach before the rain came. The sky was so dramatic and beautiful and the sun was hiding behind the clouds the whole time. Then, just as I was leaving it burst through, and I captured this.

A nice start to the day, I thought.

These little guys

Thankful #4



Life is NEVER dull with this lot as my entertainment and a great source of laughter in this house. Also a great learning experience in patience and love.
I am thankful everyday for having such great little people in my life.

Husband

Thankful #3

I am thankful for this guy;


For putting up with SO much. Tears, tantrums, midnight wake ups. And that's just me.

For being an awesome dad to our kids, for those delicious french toast breakfasts, for still getting his assignments done on time and with such great results. For the times he's reassured me, and shared his own fears. For being honest. For just being an awesome human, who I am so blessed to have as my partner in life.

I fell in love with Owen when I was just a silly teenager back in the 90's. This skinny kid that my brother knew turned up at my best friend Becky's house one day. I thought he was cute cos he was athletic, he skated, bmx'd and was always up for a challenge with the boys. Oh and he had a really noisy car he drove all of Devonport crazy with (a matt black Mazda rotary) and he listened to Black Sabbath. Something pretty exciting for a wee naive christian girl like me. So I told all the girls I was in love with him. I was only 15. Aaaand I looked like this;

Hmm, a few improvements needed to catch a man...

Anyway, a few years went by and we became friends. And better friends. And I stopped looking like an idiot. And a long story short, he asked me out when I was 18.
3 months later we were engaged.
7 months later we were married. It was the best day of my life. Of our life.

Eyebrows...

Day 2 of being thankful;

I am thankful to Estée Lauder for the Automatic Brow Pencil Duo.

Because I am losing my eyebrows at a rapid rapid rate and this fills the gaps very nicely.


I first had this pencil when I was 15 when I stole it out of mums makeup bag (and I reckon she got it in 1985). It wasn't until this year that the pencil, now worn to a very small nub needed replacing. When I went to Look Good Feel Better this was in my stash. I was VERY excited about that. Exact same colour too.

AND I STILL HAVE MY EYELASHES! HOORAH!

Hats

So I kinda thought I'd let you know I am so grateful for so much and I want to post something I'm thankful for everyday. It's not all doom and gloom aye?

HATS. I love hats. I am thankful for hats. And scarves. Although I prefer hats. Going through this in winter makes for a very cold head.

Pity party for one...

I don't know if its the weather, or the fact I'm staring down one more chemo treatment to go or what but right now I feel sad.
I have the urge to talk to someone or communicate with someone who has been through this. And I don't know anyone my age who has.
I want to talk to someone who understands what its like trying to wrangle 3 children and keep life as normal as possible, while at the end of the day falling into bed tired and sore and frustrated. I'm aware that I still place a lot of emphasis on making sure the people around me are okay and feeling great, meanwhile its making me exhausted emotionally.
Most days I'm fine. Life goes on and it's as normal as it can get. In fact I crave those normal moments because its a chance to forget I'm/we're going through this. But then there are just these days where I'm filled with doubt, fear, frustration and anger.

So, I feel those things today. And I just want to cry.

Even chocolate isn't cutting it.

Update

Well sorry for such a delay in updates. You know how last time I mentioned about being too brain addled to think and type? Yeah...well that's still happening.

I have however got a new toy (eeekk!!! yay!!) and I'm now able to sit in my favourite spot in the lounge (right hand corner of couch, closest to the heater) and blog, facebook and play Bewjeweled Blitz (my now not so secret addiction of which I am terrible at) to my hearts content. I got a lovely, amazing gift of a laptop and Mum and Dad helped with a wireless set-up which I am soooo stoked with as you can imagine. And it makes a nice change from Food TV and Living Channel...and all the other crap on TV.

Anyway, this also means I have no excuses now so here's the latest.
My last update I had just had my first dose of FEC, which went okay to begin with. My first weekend with it though I developed a tummy bug (again) which saw me either out on the bed/couch or struggling to get to the toilet (again) and it got pretty tiring. This culminated in literally my lowest point in my treatment when Owen found me on the floor at 6am Monday passed out and...well lets just say it wasn't pretty and we can agree he truly does love me. A prescription of loperimide and plenty of fluids helped that move on and the rest of the week got better and better. In fact by last weekend I was almost feeling normal, it was so good, apart from a coldsore nearly threatening me to another visit to Auckland for IV antibiotics.

Last week I headed back in for my second dose of FEC. By the time I got home I was straight on the couch and thanking God for the great anti nausea pills they gave me because I was feeling so rotten. The hardest part of chemo I would say would be the head space it puts me in. Most people just assume that nausea and vomiting is the main side effect for someone in chemotherapy, but that can be kept really well under control. For me though its the cloudy brain that turns me into a shuffling, muttering old lady who can barely just get through getting out of bed. Making a bowl of cornflakes is a whole saga. I feel brain damaged. Having a clear thought is like trying to shovel my way out of an avalanche with a spoon. It is really really hard.
Lucky though it lasts only a week for the worst of it then the fog starts to clear. Just in time for me to indulge in my favourite pastime of late...eating. Yes well it's all a bit wrong too when they tell you your tastebuds change and you will probably lose weight. WRONG. The scales are doing overtime with me lately...I'll blame the sterioids. But Little & Friday and any other cafe with delicious treats are all doing well with me in the area. Look at this gorgeous lamington, made with rich chocolate cake and a chocolate ganache rolled in coconut. THIS is no ordinary lamington. And I ate it all. Myself. What a guts.

I urge you to go out of your way and try this shop for its delicious, delectable treats (orange and rosewater cake, beautiful brioche, delicious huge espresso cookies, massive meringues, fudge) and great coffee and an amazing shop interior which feels like you've just sauntered into another world. It's so unique I can't describe it. Go to it. 43c Eversleigh Rd, Takapuna. But don't go on Mondays or Tuesdays, cos they are closed then.


Well I'm signing off and going to go and sip my blueberry and kiwifruit smoothie made by the incredible Alison who keeps my body from completely tipping the scales by feeding me incredibly delicious and nutritious food. Everyone needs an Alison and I'm so blessed to have the best one EVER!!!