13 April 2010

Being dealt the arsecard

I have this really lovely breast nurse, who is kind of like my person I go to with all my questions and worries, and who also has the misfortune of telling me any bad news. She was the one who rang to tell me my CT scan was clear (and that was awesome).

Today though, she had to tell me my MRI threw up a can of worms. In some ways it has answered my questions from my previous post. And that news is that my lump is bigger than they originally thought. A lot bigger. Too big in fact to have a reconstruction straight away as I will most certainly be having radiation. And radiation can completely balls up an implant and make it look like a hard ball of boob growing out of your shoulder as it tends to shrink the skin and make the silicone hard. Two words. NOT COOL. And as my sister-in-law Monica says, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU :(

WOW. Okay. Now a rethink. First a really really good cry and a bit of anguish at knowing I'll be completely breastless (in one breast) for at least 6 months. Oh the vanity! And also knowing that I'll be getting radiation treatment after I've finished chemotherapy is just another part to add to the process. But we must must must get this cancer out. Its my first priority. And I'll grieve my beautiful cleavage but move past this terrible disease and become stronger. And at the end of it all I'll get my cleavage back. And maybe it will be better?

What would I do without these little guys? So awesome!

And this guy...who I could NEVER do without. Alex I know you're loving this photo right now.

1 comment:

BellaBree said...

hi there! I noticed your wee icon on my followers listy thing (still learning to drive this thing!)...wow a massive deal in your world, my heart goes out to you and yours....a close frined is going thru the same thing, and I guess after the tears we always search around for something to be goofy about and giggle...tis a wonderful thing....x